No hace mucho fui a almorzar a una cevichería ubicada en el cosmopolita distrito de Miraflores. El ambiente, si bien agradable, resultó demasiado pituco para mi gusto. Los comensales estaban bien vestidos y conducían lujosas camionetas aparcaban frente al restaurante. Ahí no podía hablar de ciertos temas (como el racismo, la exclusión social, la absurda teoría neoliberal, el ateismo, etc.) porque hubiera inquietado a los concurrentes. Más de una vez me pasó que cuando hablaba en contra de Dios, del sistema económico o del Perú era señalado por furibundas miradas de gángster o un mozo me pedía que me retirara.
Me gusta comer bien, pero no en un sitio donde los platos habían sido preparados por amanerados. Los chefs creen ser "artistas" por el simple hecho de adornar o flambear un comida. La fama de algunos se compara –hoy en día– a la de grandes artistas del renacimiento o del impresionismo, sin tener, claro está, ni una pizca de su talento. Los medios los han ensalzado demasiado como hacen con muchos futbolistas prometedores que jamás explotan en grandes ligas. El elogio que se les prodiga es desmedido porque no se requiere ninguna destreza para que un plato luzca como una pintura de Jackson Pollock. La mayoría de cocineros manipula la comida como si fueran niños que juegan con chisguetes o cucharas rociando un poco de salsa blanca, perejil, mayonesa o aceite de oliva. Por esparcir un poco albahaca picada con cierta sensibilidad decorativa creen que han conseguido algo fabuloso. "En la puerta de esos restaurantes –citando al escritor español Manuel Vincent– habría que colgar este cartel: Prohibido entrar con hambre. Porque allí no se va a comer". Su profesión –entiéndalo bien– no es ni será un arte porque cualquiera puede aprenderla. No hay nada de mágico o inexplicable en manejar técnicas y recetas archiconocidas. La cocina y la pastelería por igual son un compendio de técnicas que pueden transmitirse a cualquier individuo con más de dos dedos de frente. No se necesita poseer un talento especial ni un órgano desarrollado –como el oído, en el caso de los músicos– para amasar, cortar, filetear, hornear, freír, saltear, remover, batir, licuar, sazonar, flambear y decorar un plato. No puede ser un arte una carrera en la que la materia prima (los alimentos) representa el 95% de la calidad del producto final, y sólo el 5 % restante corresponde a la preparación o "ingenio" del chef, pues si los alimentos están en mal estado no se puede servir nada. Si la alta cousine fuera un arte, sería bastante efímero porque termina en forma de heces dentro de un retrete. Últimamente los cocineros se ufanan, al igual que muchos abogados, de su "prestigiosa" profesión. Se creen seres especiales o tocados por una varita mágica porque estudiaron en Le Cordon Blue o hicieron pasantías en El Bulli, el restaurante del catalán Ferrán Adriá, uno de los más grandes charlatanes del mundo.
Es sabido que muchos chefs roban recetas de sus colegas y las hacen pasar como propias como hace Gastón Acurio cuando recorre cocinas de la capital y provincias. En suma, la alta cousine se trata solamente de una técnica cuya clave reside los "secretos" de los cocineros y en la en la calidad y disponibilidad de los productos. El verdadero arte, en cambio, va más allá de los sentidos –como el olfato o el paladar– y de los elementos utilizados para su composición. Y su mejor definición es que, a diferencia de la cocina, no tiene explicación.
La comida que me sirvieron me gustó; pero no tanto como en cualquier restaurante del interior del país o de barrio (cocina casera y tradicional). El principal problema con los restoranes de tres o más tenedores es que sirven poco y cobran mucho. Yo no poseo el estómago de modelo anoréxica para que me sirvan como si fuera un canario. Lo que ordené era bueno (ravioles rellenos de pulpa de cangrejo), pero nada para morirse ni de otro mundo. En casa, especialmente durante los cumpleaños de mi abuela, comí mejores alimentos. Los restaurantes más importantes se valen de la fama y popularidad de sus chefs para servir una minucia (consideran sus comensales tienen paladares franceses o italianos). La reducción de las porciones me parece simplemente mezquina. A mí siempre me ha gustado comer bien y de manera abundante, por eso cuando voy a restaurantes como el de Gastón Acurio –porque me invitan, si no, no iría ni a patadas–, me quejó de las minúsculas guarniciones de arroz, purés y carnes que sirven. Comprendo que la intención es no llenar, pero tampoco deberían llegar al extremo de matar de hambre a sus comensales. Y eso sin mencionar que en sitios como Pasquale (la sanguchería) no se les paga nada bien a sus trabajadores, o con eufemismo, se les da buena propina.
Lo que pidieron mis amigos se veía bueno también. Uno de ellos pidió las especialidades de la casa: sudado de mero y conchitas a la parmesana. El otro ordenó un ceviche mixto… con más cebolla, camote y lechuga que pescado y mariscos, por su puesto…
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